Random Agents: Jeffness
by Beth-Star
Summary: The four teen programs may think its hard being Agents with all the trouble they manage to get in, but soon they find out it can get much worse..
1. Disasters on Ice

**Authors:** Star, Angel, T'Lorie Alo and Elth

**Summary:** A random Agent story, if you haven't read any of Stormhawks SMU stories it may be a little confusion for you but the basic jist is troublesome teen-agents! Checkout the back-story at www. deceptivefuture .com

The Story of Jeff aka Jeffness!

It was New years day, and Agent Star was fast asleep on her computer desk after staying up much too late and drinking far too much Barcardi and coke, but heck, what else were you supposed to do at the Agencies New Years Eve party?

The Brunette agent was happily sleeping away when her computer made an overly loud BEEP, and a strange message appeared on the screen in pink text.

_Wake up Star..._

Strangely enough, Star chose that moment to wake up and, wincing from her hangover, peered at the screen.

_Follow the pink koala..._

"Urg, it's too early for another one of Alocin's stupid jokes..." Star mumbled

Ignoring it she fell asleep again, wondering if Alo had REALLY dyed one of her koala's pink, Maybe Jasmine. The girl did get bored very easily after all...

A good few hours later when Star woke back up, she was rather surprised to see that the message was still there.

"Okay, so maybe that's a little weird."

There was a knock on the door.

Hoping that she hadn't forgotten some important meeting or anything else utterly boring, Star required herself into some fresh clothes and opened the door, only to see Agent Angel...wearing a t-shirt with a pink Koala on...

"Hey Star," Angel said cheerfully "wanna go do something? I'm so bored!"

_Ok... that was a bit spooky..._ Star thought.

Wasn't this the type of things rebels did to try and unplug people? Was it some kind of elaborate trap? Well if it was an elaborate trap of some rebely variety, chances are Neo would be there, and if Neo was there...

"Sure Angey, I'll get my coat!"

"You reckon T'Lorie and Alo will want to come too?" Angel asked

"I dunno about T'Lorie, but I know Alo is busy at the moment with a few Koala experiments." Star frowned. Hopefully ones not involving pink dye.

"Right, well we'll go past T'L's office and ask if she is busy!" Angel decided.

T'Lorie was peacefully communing with her computer when she was interrupted by someone thudding on her door. What better way to start a new year that with a good system cleanup, she'd also been browsing the human database and found out a few weird was that the copper-tops liked to have fun.

"Meep!"

The door was the last thing she had expected. The blond agent shut down her computer with a snap, just in case it was Agent Jones and straightened her tie. She always liked to look smart, particularly when the cute male tech-agent was involved.

"Come in!"

Angel, and Star walked in. Severely disappointed T'Lorie plonked herself down again. Both girls wore looks of boredom and, in Star's case, surprise.

"Why are you two here?" T'Lorie questioned, trying not to sigh. Well it wasn't like she had anything better to do now she'd finished tweaking her computer. But it would have been nice to show Jonesy how efficient her new defrag system was.

"We were bored." Angel said, casually dropping into a seat as Star leant against the wall looking thoughtful.

"That's fairly normal," pointed out T'Lorie,

"But at the moment it couldn't be any more welcome, because I am too."

"You are?"

T'Lorie smiled slightly. "Yep, I've finished my reports for this morning, and I was looking through the agencies human database. I read about this place where you slap metal to your feet and slide on ice - it sounds fun."

"Metal on Ice? That does sound like fun" Star grinned, getting more Starish by the moment

"Right, that's agreed, lets go."

So the three buggy agents Shifted out of the Agency together and made their way to the Ice rink.

"Oh I'm going to require a pair of skates with rockets on!" Star squealed.

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea, we will have to pretend we are normal humans so not to cause any disruption..." T'Lorie began

"Oh that's a pity..." Star said removing her suit-jacket "I wanted to wear my 'humans suck' top today!"

"Hmm, you really think we can pretend to be humans? _Normal_ humans?" Angel asked with obvious worry.

"Good point..." T'L sighed. "But I think we could pull off crazy teenage human girls quite well!"

Gemini sat on the wall inside the ice ring, just killing time when 3 rather crazed teenage girls came in, one of which was wearing... of all things a pink Koala t-shirt.

After requiring a pair of skates each the girls raced out onto the ice. And promptly fell over.

"Um... your supposed to actually _put on_ the skates before you go out on the ice" said a voice behind them.

"Hey look, an exile!" yelled Angel excitedly "Reckon we could scare her?"

Star however wasn't listening. She sat pouting on the ice. Where exactly was this mysterious person who hacked her computer? She'd come here with Angel, was that what they had meant by 'follow the pink koala'?

Soon she was pulled up by a mischievous looking Angel.

"So you wanna scare the Exile?" She grinned nodding towards a gothy-looking girl on the edge of the ice.

Star frowned. "She looks pretty normal, are you _sure_ she's an Exile, you remember what happened the time you thought the high school fancy dress party was a secret exile meeting..."

T'Lorie nodded. "I think we traumatised al lot of teenagers that day."

Gemini watched the girl in the revolting pink Koala top pull the other pouting girl off the floor, she grinned as she recognised them as the new random agents that where plaguing the matrix. Any chance for revenge on the agents couldn't be missed.

The exile noticed that agent Alocin was missing... 'Perfect' she thought as she walk out of the other RA's vision and shape-shifted into a perfect likeness of Alocin right down to the very code.

Walking around the ice ring, out of the RA's vision, The exile who now looked identical to Agent Alocin entered from the other side and then walked out onto the ice ring towards her 'Friends'.

'Alocin' grinned evilly; this was going to be fun.

And from the shadows a mysterious stranger in a long black trench coat watched the whole thing.

"Hi Alo... I thought you were stuck doing some reports for Brown?" Star questioned, rather surprised to see her friend.

Gemini froze slightly, before lying smoothly... well at least she thought she was fairly smooth, having little knowledge of the Agency.

"...computers broke, glitch... horrible glitch... various kitchen implements and punch bags started attack Brownie... terrible." 'Alocin' looked shifty and mock shook her head.

"So now we're all here," she said brightly and waved her arms around the ice ring "I say lets skate!"

**Meanwhile at the agency**

The real Alocin was typing up half a dozen reports. As she reached for the last one she thought 'Nearly finished!' and her heart did a lil' jump of joy.

A lil' jump of joy which immediately crashed and burned as Brown barged in and dumped a massive stack of papers on the desk which was most likely larger than her!

"You are to do these too before you can leave" Stated Brown with a glare which made her shrink down in her seat and gave her a desire to release her Koalas in self defence. Obviously Brown was miffed that she'd been skipping on her paper work.

It wasn't her fault, she blamed the digestives, El Starino, oh and that incident with the Neo, tin foil and an overpowered microwave. She sniggered as she remember the look on Star's face when she found out... Alocin gave out a 'Meep!' as Brown gave her an even deadlier glare and settled down to the paper work with mutinous mutterings.

Back at the rink 

"Hey Alocin" Angel called "Glad you could make it! I'm surprised Brown even let you live if you caused that much trouble! Hey, wanna help freak out an exile?"

"What exile?" 'Alocin' asked a little nervously.

"That one over there..." Angel replied, turning to point, "Oh, she's gone. Damn."

T'Lorie patted her on the back "Never mind Angel. I'm sure we can have just as much fun scaring the humans."

Mimicking the humans on the ice already the girls put their ice skates on. Stood up and promptly fell over again.

"This is stupid" Angel complained. "How are we supposed to do this?"

I don't know, just copy the batteries." T'Lorie replied, nodding at the humans who seemed to have no trouble skating.

" Nice skates Alocin, but where are the koalas?"

"Um, Koalas?" the hesitant reply came back.

"Yeah, Koalas, this is the first time I've seen you wearing something without a Koala, did Brown confiscate them?" Angel questioned, her interrogating urges kicking in

"Oh, yeah, he did."

"Right anyway, Star snap out of it girl, and let's skate!"

The four girls took of across the ring in stops and starts.

Star gave a _Very_ wobbly start, "I feel like bloody Bambi." she muttered, sliding hazardously across the ice, the others seemed to have gotten the hang of it a lot quicker.

Grabbing hold of the rink-wall, she gave herself a big push managed to slide forwards a little too quickly, headfirst into a bunch of skaters.

"Sorry!"

'Alocin' was inwardly cursing herself for forgetting the koalas, I mean how could she! She was going to get caught if she wasn't more careful, and god knows what these crazy agents would do!.

Gemini was skating across the ring with little trouble, unlike the other three Agents, T'Lorie was clinging to Angel for dear life and Star was doing her Bambi impression.

Talking about Star, 'Alocin' caught Star out of the corner of her eyes crashing into some weirdo stating around in a large black trench coat and tumble down together.

Star gazed adoringly into the face of...

"NEO!" Star squealed. Neo was here! EEEE!

"Oh dear lord..." Neo muttered.

"What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining or anything. I mean hello? Tall sexy rebel! But still it's just a bit odd..." Star chattered, staring up into the big brown eyes of her favorite rebel..

"Umm..." Neo delayed, trying to decipher what the girl was saying.

"Oh no... The others are here too!" Star bit her lip. "I hope they haven't seen you..." The other Random Agents weren't quite so keen on Neo as she was, 'not quite so keen' meaning, they preferred to cut him up into itty-bitty pieces and feed him to a ferret.

Neo paused for a moment and re-ran what the affectionate girl had said before, and spoke carefully and simply trying not to over excite the girl with his sexy voice which he had to admit was very... _'No! getting off topic' _Neo mental scolded himself, he could sing his praises later, he had work to do now.

"I came here… to worry you!"

Neo announced dramatically, with his trench coat doing a little swish...

Then paused

"No wait that's not right..." he muttered as he searched through his trench coat for something.

Pulling a card out, he read it and then put it back.

"I came here to warn you!" He announced dramatically a second time.

"Oh no! Not warn me!" Star gasped in mock-horror, and used the opportunity to grip Neo's coat.

Neo nodded in a dark, mysterious brooding way.

Star let go of his coat.

"Uh... well aren't you actually going to tell me what I'm supposed to be warned about? Or are you just going to stand there looking sexy all day?" Star questioned, hands on hips.

Neo pondered this question, it was true he did look very sexy and could probably do it all day but no he was the 'One', which meant he had to make noble sacrifices like not standing around all day looking sexy so people could stand and drool over him.

No, instead he said, "Morpheus is coming for you Star, he's coming and I don't know what he's going to do to." But he managed to say it in an incredibly sexy and mysterious way.

Star gasped and gagged in the horror and revolution that Morpheus was after _her_! She used the opportunity to cling to Neo again. Neo vaguely hoped that Star wouldn't throw up on him... It would ruin his nice new swishy coat.

"Urrgg, not _Morphy_! He's just so gross!" Star wailed.

"Wait, why are you even telling me? Surely you shouldn't be helping..." Star paused and lowered her sunglasses "...An _Agent_."

"Well you aren't exactly much of a threat to us are you?" Neo said matter-of-factly. Star frowned. "Ok, not much of a threat to _me_"

"But still Neo, you're a rebel and I am..." She adjusted her tie for effect. "...An _Agent_"

Neo was confused, he knew she was doing one of those cunning female hinting things but being a poor male his mind simply couldn't comprehend what she was hinting at.

A dumb look come across his face, which he only managed to narrowly save by turning it into an adorable cute confused face. He was so busy congratulating the awesomeness that was him that he failed to notice Star stop and glare at him again.

Gemini was beginning to get bored.

Sure it was fun watching Angel and T'Lorie make complete fools out of themselves, and she had 'accidentally' tripped them up a few times and crashed them into people and walls but it was getting boring now and all the humans had abandoned the ice ring to avoid the rather crazy girls.

It was around then when she noticed that she hadn't seen Star for a while and looked around for her. She spotted her standing next to this stranger in a trench coat. Wondering who this stranger was she grabbed the Angel and asked who the guy Star was talking to was... she got a rather unexpected response.


	2. I Hate Pingpong

Chapter 2

**Meanwhile back at the ranch, duh, I mean back at the Agency...**

Alocin sighed and looked at the clock. She could almost swear that the hands were moving backwards, and she was making no impression on Agent Brown's giant pile of paperwork.

"I mean why the hell does he generate so much anyway? It must be all the death certificates and insurance pay-outs for the buildings and cars he keeps blowing up."

She sighed once more and reached for a digestive biscuit, but her tin was empty. "That's it. I've had enough. Ohhhh Boris! Boris! Dinner!"

She required a bottle of ketchup and squirted it liberally all over the pile of paperwork. Boris scampered up and was soon chewing away at the ketchupy papers.

"Ahh good boy, Boris. Right now I can go have some fun! Require, location of the other crazy Agents. Ice rink? Cool!" She shifted away, leaving Boris to finish his meal.

**At the rink**

Angel was rather shocked, then 'Alocin' latched onto her arm, and she had to grab hold of T'Lorie to prevent herself from falling over. Unfortunately this resulted in all three of them falling over. Again.

"I am so glad we don't feel the cold." T'Lorie grumbled as she got up again. "Or we would all die from hypothermia"

"Well for once its not my fault." Angel retorted as she pushed herself up off the ice.

"Alocin here decided to be the smart one and grab hold of me." She almost ended up on the ice again as Alocin used her to lever herself up.

"What was so important anyway Alo?"

"Er... I wanted to know who that guy Star is talking to is"

"Where? What the... hey T'Lorie! Neo's here!" Angel exclaimed before turning to 'Alocin'.

"Have you lost your mind? All that paperwork must have gone to your head, not to recognise our number-one rebel target! Especially after all that stuff with El Starino last week..."

"Um.. oh yeah... I ... er.. I recognise him now... er... maybe um... Brown drugged me or something..."

"Yeah, wouldn't put it past him." Angel said, nodding wisely. "Might have even found your own drug cupboard. Ask Boris when we get back."

"Come-on people!" T'Lorie said as she skated over "Lets go see if we can scare the crap out of Neo! Shouldn't be to hard after last week."

T'Lorie and Angel skated off towards Star, slowly getting better at staying on their feet. 'Alocin' just stood there for a sec, thanking her lucky stars that she had gotten out of that one. Maybe she would have to have a look at Agent Alocin's file and find out some useful information.

Gemini watched the others skate towards this Neo, she'd heard about him and there was no chance in hell that she was going to face him down. Agents may do it daily but then again they had more lives a cat.

Also if she was going to blend in she was going to need more background info, she was making far too many mistakes, she only needed a few minutes to get the information from a friend, thinking up an acceptable excuse she called out:

"Oi guys I really need to get a drink, maybe you could handle Neo on your own?"

"Yeah, whateva." Angel called back, far to interested in the prospect of scaring the bejeebers out of Neo to care what Alocin was doing.

They had just reached him and Star, and he was looking suitably scared when there was a thump somewhere behind then, and Angel turned around to find Alocin sprawled on the ice at her feet.

Alo grinned at her. "I SO can not skate, you managed to figure it out yet?"

Angel was very _very_ confused "What! But your the only one of us who can skate remember? You seemed to be doing fine while me and T'Lorie were falling over every five seconds. And didn't you just go to get a drink?"

"Er... no" Agent Alocin said a little nervously "I just finished Brown's paperwork." She started snickering, wondering if Boris had finished yet

"But... you... she.. us... You have been here for ages! We were skating and you told us that Brown had a glitch or something. Well not in so many words but..."

"We it wasn't me! I was stuck in my bloody office with Brown breathing down my neck and no tea and a very VERY short supply of digestives and it's a wonder I didn't set Boris and Jasmine onto Brown!"

"Ok ok, calm down. I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation to all this." T'Lorie said calmly.

"Can't see what that would be." Star muttered under her breath

"Do you have an evil twin?" T'Lorie continued, ignoring Star and taking out a notebook. She reminded the others of a psychiatrist.

"I ASK THE QUESTIONS AROUND HERE!" Angel yelled, causing everyone to jump and Neo to let out a small meep "Now Alocin," she said, a little more calmly "do you have an evil twin?"

T'Lorie glared at her

"Er... well I don't think so."

"Ok then, who is this?" She pointed at the rather scared Neo

"Neo of course, though why he is here I have no idea."

"Well that settles it. This is the real Alocin and the other one was an impostor." Angel concluded. "To think we didn't notice when she didn't even recognise Neo!"

"Yes, you lot go find Alocin's evil impostor, I'll take care of this pesky rebel here..." Star blurted, staring at the scared Neo and trying not to smile.

The three other agents gave her a 'you wish' look. And grabbed her by either arm.

Star sighed. "Alas my dear Neo, it appears that I am destined to be eternally doomed in love..." She yelled as she got dragged away.

Neo, extremely pleased with his luck at not getting shot at by the nutty girls, gave a little wave and flew off. (And possibly blew Star a kiss...who knows...)

"Come-on Star," Angel said, getting a little frustrated "We have to go find Alocin's evil twin, or whatever it is. You can fawn over Neo later."

Star gave an unhappy sigh

Gemini was sitting oblivious to this all over at the bar, she'd gotten Alocin's file off a friend and was idly flipping through it. It was fairly useless information but had an interesting list of disasters and accidents she had caused in it.

Star slid unhappily over the ice. Well she may as well see if she could help find Alo's evil...thing...

"Where would be the first place you went if you looked exactly like Alocin, but weren't actually Alocin, and instead was her evil identical impostor of some variety?" She questioned.

"I have no idea." Alocin said

"But if _I_ was Alocin, which I am, I would probably be hungry and want to go to the bar over there..." She hinted pointing to _Mr Mc Chillies Extra Cold Hot Food_

"Off we go then!"

"Well she did say she was going to get a drink." T'Lorie reasoned.

"Oh do you always have to reason everything?" Angel sighed "You're worse then a bloody Vulcan."

Angel actually knew what a Vulcan was because T'Lorie had found some Star Trek fan fiction and had then made her watch the whole series.

The all went into the snack bar type thing and began fighting over what to order for lunch, completely forgetting about the task at hand.

'Alocin' was sitting at the bar when Angel, Star, T'Lorie and ...ALOCIN! sat down beside her… Her heart doing 200 beats a minute; she tried to quietly slip away.

The real actual Alocin shook her head sadly.

"Well whoever you are you are not doing very well at impersonating me. You might look and sound just like me but I mean come on - you didn't order the choc-chip digestive sundae! That is a glaringly obvious error and, hey! Is that my file? I want to see what it says about me..."

Star looked worried. "If it's anything vaguely like _my_ file, you probably won't want to Alo..."

Alocin leafed through the file. It had some basic biographical details and then went into a quite extensive list of "incidents" that she had been tied to.

"Hey I never shot Agent Smith with a laser gun! I shot Agent _Brown_ with a laser gun, yes, but it was Star who shot Agent Smith. And what is this about holding Agent Jones' laptop hostage? I never did that! I think that was T'L... But the whole El Starino chaos is in here... They even listed all the times I drugged Star! Wow I did that a lot didn't I?"

"Yes" Star said rather darkly.

The other 'Alocin' had started edging towards the door again, but was stopped by Angel.

"Hey impostor / evil twin / clone / whatever Alocin. Who are you really? And what evil did you hope to achieve through impersonating Alocin?"

Gemini sighed, well she was pretty much caught but remained in Alocin's form simply because she had no natural form... sides it might prove useful later.

"What I had hoped to achieve?" She replied mocking Angel

"Vague amusement." Gemini rolled here eyes.

"You have no idea how boring it can get sometimes, being an Exile."

Gemini tried to push past Angel but was caught by her and thrown against the wall with a lil' more force than needed. Gemini winced rolling her shoulders and rubbing her bruised arm where Angel had grabbed her... They were still Agents despite how strange they acted and were far stronger than her.

Alocin was still engrossed in her file. Suddenly she squeaked in panic.

"How the hell do they know that? No one should know..." She removed that page and stuffed it in her pocket. The others were all looking at her curiously so she decided to quickly change the subject.

"Um... so impostor Alocin person. You are presumably an Exile? If so then we are really supposed to terminate you or take you back to the Agency for questioning."

Gemini smirked. "Was that the incident with the..." She didn't get any further as the real Alocin clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Hehehe just ignore her guys." The real Alocin said, and then to the impostor Alocin hissed "Don't bring that up or else..."

'Alocin' gulped and nodded.

The real Alocin paused for a minute. "Where was I?... ah yes, you're presumably an Exile?" She said removing her hand from the impostor Gemini's mouth

"Yeah." Gem nodded, pretty much defeated.

"Hey you're the Exile from before!" Yelled Angel, putting two and two together, wow you're a shape-shifter!.

Gemini grinned wryly. "Yeah, that was me."

Star cut in, fingering her Desert Eagle. "So which is it to be? You going to come to the Agency for questioning or are we going to have to terminate you?"

"Er does it have to be either?" Gemini asked. "I mean come on guys... it was just a little harmless fun..."

"Aww come-on Star," Angel wined

"Do we really have to turn her in? You know what Brown does to exiles." she shuddered.

"But we have to!" T'Lorie put in "We are Agents, its our job."

"No it's not! _1._ Taking care of exiles is Brown's job, and I don't see him anywhere near here. _B._ She didn't actually do anything to harm us or anything, personally I think Alocin could get us into more trouble in five minutes then the exile could in 2 weeks. And _4. _It could be fun to see what we can get out of her..."

During Angel's rant Gemini was slowly backing towards the door, hoping that the Agents would be too busy fighting over her life to notice. No such luck.

"Hey, just because I don't want to turn you over to Brown or kill you, doesn't mean your going to just walk on out of this." Angel told Gemini, grabbing hold of her arm again to stop her.

Alocin was going to protest about the whole getting everyone in trouble thing, but since it was the truth there wasn't much she could actually say in her defence.

"Well I think that we shouldn't just hand Jeff here, for lack of a better name I am going to call my little exile-clone-y pall; Jeff, over to Agent Brown. He wasn't in the bestest of moods earlier and once he finds out what I did with the rest of his paperwork it's not going to improve. However we should do some tests on Jeff's seemingly shape shifter-ish powers, then we will have a report to file on all this that for once has some useful information in it."

"That sounds like a great idea!" T'Lorie smiled enthusiastically

Alocin required some high-tech Exile scanning equipment and was just searching for an electrical socket to plug it all into when she noticed the odd stares they were being given by the rest of the people in the cafe.

Obviously five people in suits, two of them looking like identical twins and now a lot of expensive and scary looking electrical equipment was not the usual thing to find in an ice rink cafe.

"Erm... maybe we should do this back at the Agency though."

"The Agency?... Erm guys maybe this has escaped you but I'm an Exile and the last place I want to be is the Agency where all the agents and recruits are!" The impostor 'Alocin' pointed out fairly vocally.

"Don't you have somewhere more neutral?" She asked in desperation, the last thing she wanted to do was walk into the lions den so to speak.

"Hmm.. I still think we should take you to the Agency" Star said narrowing her eyes at the Exile.

"Pllleeeeaase!" Jeff/Gemini pleaded.

"Oh okay…" Star sighed, a sucker for the puppy-dog eyes look

"Then I suggest we take you to...Mindys!"

"What or who the hell is Mindys?" Angel asked

"I'll show you when we get there..." Star stated mysteriously

"Uh... Mindys!" Gemini asked.

"Do you want to go back to the Agency?" Star snapped

"Nope Mindy's it is then..." The Exile replied, sighing, and followed the agents out.


	3. Home, sweet radioactive home

Chapter 3

T'Lorie who had been sulking in the corner jumped up and shouted: "Yeah! Lets go to Mindy's, even though I don't know what or where it is, lets go!"

"Yeah," Angel said, coming out of her pink t-shirt induced coma, "Lets go!"

"Mindy's? This sounds rather dubious…" asked Alocin

"And where the hell is that? The Agency does have better security but it also has Agent Brown I suppose... OK Mindy's, wherever that is, it shall be. Can we leave before the staff here get even more suspicious of us?"

After much trekking through dark alleyways, the group came to a small secluded building, with a flashing pink-neon sign reading:

'**Mindy's Karaoke bar/night club/cyber-cafe and all-round funtime!**'

"If you think I am setting foot in that place, you _have_ to be kidding!" Jeff/Gemini gasped.

"I think I have to agree with Jeff there..." TL decided.

"Look, it's better than the Agency right? Anyway loads of Exiles and programs come here _all_ the time." Star said. "Plus they have a great air-hockey table..."

"I'm in." Alocin said "But how do you even know about this place?"

Star looked shifty. "Um... Never mind that lets just get in right?

Alocin helped Star in pushing everyone through the doorway.

"I bags first go on the air hockey table! Who else wants a game? Do they sell tea here? What about digestives?"

Alo then spotted something.

"Oh...my...God! They have a ping-pong table! With real actual visible ping-pong bats and everything! Hehehehe!"

"Verse you to a game of ping-pong!" Angel yelled at Alocin, racing over to the table.

"And look, you don't even have to do the sounds yourself!" She demonstrated this by hitting a ball at Stars head; it made a lovely thunking noise.

Alocin quickly learned that while you don't have to do the sounds, visible ping-pong was still a lot harder than invisible ping-pong. The table and surrounding area was quickly cleared, for fear of being knocked out with a stray ball, which happened quite a lot.

Star was banging her head against the bar, somewhat scaring T'L. Star sighed. She tries being nice by taking the girls out to one of her local haunts and they spaz out with a scary looking game of evil ping-pong.

"Why Me!"

In a bid to avoid death by ping-pong ball, Star decided that now would be a good time to start interrogating the Exile.

"Right then Jeff/whatever what type of exile are you, and what is your real name?"

"Yeah it's answering questions time now," chimed in Alocin who had just popped over to the table to get a drink

"Or we stop all this 'nice Agentness'. And do you really need to stay looking like me? I keep trying to adjust my hair whenever I look at you, thinking you're a mirror." She grabbed her drink.

"Right Angel - the ball is not supposed to rebound off the walls. I get that now. Prepare to lose!"

After one look at the viciously crowded and noise room T'Lorie had come to the conclusion that no way in hell was she going to be separated from the others. She slid over to the table were Star was attempting to interrogate the exile, Angel was busy whacking a ping pong ball at a wall and back, and Alocin was yelling at her not to injure the balls feelings. The whole effect was rather scary.

T'Lorie required her laptop and various tech thingies and proceeded to hook 'Jeff' up to them, ignoring the look that Star was giving her.

"One here, and one there and another one there..."

"Um, T'Lorie, what are you doing?" interrupted Star

"I'm attempting to hook his bioelectrical and physicolectrical settings to my computer!" she said with a happy smile.

"Why?"

"So we know when this is taking effect" She held up a large and scary looking syringe filled with silvery liquid. Both Star and 'Jeff' jumped. "This won't hurt much... I think, it might actually hurt quite a lot! hehehe"

"Aahhhhhhhhhhhhh' yelled Gemini as she tried to get as far away from T'Lorie as possible, while Star struggled to get the needle out of her grasp.

"No, we don't use this on exiles, it doesn't work." said Star panting."You have been spending way to much time around Agent Jones"

"Oh, what about this one then?" T'Lorie produced a bigger needle full of code stuff. "It's supposed to make code disintegrate bit by bit."

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." yelled Gemini again.

"No!" Star ordered and wrestled it out of T'Lorie's grasp. "This is an informal interrogation, meaning she has to be alive when we are finished."

"Oh, then we won't be bugging her then?"

"No"

"Damn, I don't know what I'm going to do with this then." she held up the bug. "Its supposed to be a new version that..."

"Shut up T'Lorie, I'm trying to talk to Jeff."

Jeff/Gemini meanwhile was trying to disentangle himself from T'Lorie's wires so she could crawl away but she failed and now resembled a kitten, which had been playing in way to much wool.

Ignoring the mess, Star started once again to interrogate the exile while T'Lorie sat watching. All the time very audible shouting could be heard as Alocin tried to tell Angel that ping-pong balls weren't supposed to be classified as high velocity international ballistic missiles.

"But Alo" Angel wined "You were hitting people with the ball, I was feeling left out!"

"Yes but that was an accident" Alocin sighed, she didn't think she was going to win this fight.

"What, even when you stopped the game, carefully aimed at Star, then hit the ball as hard as you could?" Angel grinned

"Well maybe not _that_ time, but I only did that once"

Angel raised an eyebrow

"OK, OK, 4 times, but that still doesn't mean you can hit innocent coppertops with the ball"

"How 'bout the bat?"

Alocin sighed "No, you can't hit them with the bat either" this was why invisible ping-pong was so much simpler

Angel started grinning again "Well if I can't hit them, and Star, Jeff and T'Lorie are busy... I'll have to hit you!" and with that she began chasing Alocin around and around Mindys, throwing ping-pong balls and bats

"Argh! This is unfair I tell you!" shouted Alocin running away, throwing invisible ping pong balls and bats back in Angel's direction.

"My missiles don't have any real effect but yours..." she got hit in the head with a bat "Oww - do! Stop that, I've changed my mind it's now fine to attack the coppertops instead of me!"

Angel stopped suddenly and steepled her fingers

"Excellent" she then turned to the remaining people in the bar, of which there was very few, and started to hit ping-pong balls in their direction. They left very quickly.

"Aww, alocin, the coppertops left!" Angel wined again "this is so not fair!"

Just then the manger walked over to them, looking extremely pissed off

**A short while later**

"I cant believe you two got us kicked out" Star grumbled

"Well its not just our fault all the customers left." Angel retorted, "You and T'Lorie were doing a pretty good job of freaking them out too!"

"Well whatever, but what are we supposed to do now?" Star pouted

"We could always go back to our old Agency, you know, the building that was confiscated from us because we keep redoing the paint job. We would be safe there from prying agents and I could set up a firewall." T'Lorie said after a thought.

They were standing outside; 'Jeff' was still tied up. Alo and Angel were still holding bats and balls. It started to rain.

"Great, " Angel commented "a decision would be helpful before we all melt."

"Technically we can't melt."

"Shut up T'Lorie" came several synchronised voices.

"I think going to the old Agency would probably be a good idea right about now," Star shook her head sadly. "If you lot got me banned from Mindys I will be most upset..."

"Hey you were just as bad!" Alocin protested "What with all your...umm... sitting there!"

Star raised an eyebrow. "Well I think that made my point... anyway lets get to the agency and start this interrogation before Smith thinks we've been abducted by rebels!"

Angel gave in; she really didn't like getting wet. "Fine, but we still have to protect Jeff from the other Agents, particularly Brown."

"I don't think Brown would come within 10 miles of a pink Agency for some reason Angey...Not quite his colour is it?"

"Oh, OUR agency, well that's a different story then isn't it! I just hope it hasn't run wild in our absence. I wonder if my lie detector is still there?"

T'Lorie shuddered "For all out sakes, lets hope its not!"

"Aww, but he was alright once you get to know him, just doesn't know how treacherous houseplants can be..."

Alocin's hair was beginning to dissolve. Well not literally, but all the gel was washing out. This caused her some distress.

"Guys my hair is getting all soggy - when it dries it's going to be fluffy! If it looks anything like Jeff's then I am not happy. Let's go already!"

"Oh God you're right!" Star yelled with horror, "I can't bump into Neo with fuzzy hair!"

The group rolled their eyes.

"Oh lets just go already!"

The closer the group got to the Agency, the more scared 'Jeff' started to look.  
The fuchsia pink building practically gave off radiation, and people walking their dogs usually crossed over to the other side of the street went they came near to it.

Soon the group of programs were stood out side the front door, under the rather ambiguous sign; **_'The Agency'_**. Angel, Star and T'Lorie each took out a different colour key from their suit-jackets. Purple, pink and blue respectively, and put them in a lock.

The door flew open, revealing a long hallway similar to that of the regular Agency, except that it seemed to have a green-tinged glow about it.

Now even Alocin looked scared.

"Ah yes, I forgot you've never actually been here have you Alo?" Star said, patting her on the back. Alo shook her head meekly

"Well never fear, it is the home of all random agents, you'll be fine here!"  
Alocin looked more relived, but 'Jeff' now looked plain terrified.

The group walked down the corridor. Alocin could tell that they were nearing Star's office as there were suddenly "wanted" pictures of Neo covering both walls of the corridor, and the ceiling.

"I knew there was a reason I always chose to stay back at the regular Agency... I am feeling very claustrophobic here. How do you resist scribbling all over them?" she asked Angel.

"Oh we don't. We regularly draw on them but Star just keeps on requiring new ones. Lets use my office for the interrogation, it has less scary pictures up in it."

The Exile looked around at all the pictures all over the wall, hmmm well it seemed agent Star had a small thing on about that rebel Neo... Yep that was the understatement of the year, she thought looking at all the pictures.

She followed Agent Angel into her office and caught her reflection in the mirror, she looked like a drowned rat! ... Okay a drowned rat with purple and now only semi spiky hair but still… It wouldn't do!

Shape changing into one of her more regular forms, that of a young teenage girl with pure black hair... There were a few reasons she did it one it was the first that came to mind, two it showed exile code and three… well it looked better than any of the other four girls who all looked fairly soaked.

Running her tongue over her new fangs, she grinned ferally at agent Angel who was looking at her with... Awe? Shock? it was hard to read agents then again it wasn't just Angel, all the agents had a similar look on there face from watching her shape change into a vampiric appearance.

Alocin summed up what the others where thinking with one word "Cool..."

Alocin was indeed impressed. "Hey Jeff looks a bit more Exiley now, that's better. The fangs suit you."

"Yeah but we can do some tricks too." T'L pointed out. The four Agents then required themselves into dry suits and returned their hair back to non-sogginess. Some went a bit further however. "Alo you don't have fangs, stop copying Jeff."

"Ohhh..." Alocin got rid of the fangs and required some digestives instead.

"You're a vampire Exile!" Star gasped, her earlier distaste for the exile vanishing quickly.

"That's just so...just..." Star hopped up and down on the spot. Alocin suddenly looked very worried and clapped her hands over her ears

"EEEEEEEE!" Star Squee-ed, as the other Agents winced. "That is so wicked! Vampires totally rock Jeff! Do you have all cool powers and stuff?"

Alocin was afraid to remove her hands. "I think my ears might be bleeding..."

Suddenly Stars little squeeking fit was cut short as got a message through her earpiece from Agent Smith asking if she had spotted Neo.

Umm... no. she sent back

We heard you making some kind of 'squee' noise all the way over here at the Agency, and that usually coincides with a sighting of Mr Anderson

Ohh riiight, no I just spotted... A picture of him on a t-shirt. Yeah, this t-shirt a rebel had. I've shot the rebel now, it's all fine.

Star took her hand off her earpiece. "Well that was a close call...I think we had better get moving with this interrogation guys, Smithy sounded suspicious..."

Angel took out her torch and shone it on 'Jeff' "Well, well, well, wellity wellity wellity wellitiono weitiono..."

"Angel!" T'L shouted.

Angel stopped. "Sorry, well mr/mrs/miss/sir-exile-vampire-Jeff, care to tell us about yourself?"

"Ouchie..." Muttered the vampire exile, rubbing her ears. "You do realise vampire programs have super sensitive senses... that hurt!" She gave Star an evil look and half heartedly snarled, she'd suffered worse on other occasions like that time she went to that concert and stood near one of the big speakers... Not much worse she had to admit but still that was slightly worse

"And as for having cool powers... I thought the shape changing was fairly cool, it lets me modify my code healing instantly, hiding and letting me to walk in daylight as long as I'm in a different form." She explained and then rolled her eyes.

"Oh and my names Gemini... or at least in this form."

Then stopped and looked suspiciously at the other agents. "Why do you like vampire programs? My kindred don't have the best of reputations."

Star opened her mouth and shut it again rather quickly. "Well..umm I'm urrm..."

"You're what?" Alocin questioned.

"A massive Buffy fan! On and Angel, I liked interview with the vampire too, queen of the dammed was ok, and I love the Lost Boys! Vamps are just so cool! I mean Angel and Spike? Puurrrr... they could bite _me_ any day!" Star grinned.

The Agents stared at her.

"What? OH! Don't tell Neo!"

Alocin shook her head at Star's crazy explanation and strange fear that Neo might be somehow deeply crushed if he found out his number one fan in the Agents liked some fictional vampires.

"Okay well moving on from Star's interesting psychological issues... I don't particularly have a thing for vampires; I just think having fangs would be useful. You could open cans with them, and do other neat stuff." She took another digestive.

Angel sighed.

"Just ignore the crazy people Jeff. Now do you have any evil plots you would like to tell us about? Come on you must be plotting something, all Exiles do. I'll get my lie detector!"

"Hello she's called Gemini now! And I think we should sell her to Mero! I bet he has loads of cools junk!" Star's eyes lit up

"Jeff...Gemini... they're similar!"

Star's snort told Angel that she obviously didn't agree with this.

"Oh whatever. Anyway we are not selling anyone to Mero - he's a git. And he's an Exile too remember, we are skating on thin enough ice not just terminating Jef..Gemini. Making deals with Mero is venturing into deletion-level territory."

"You wouldn't get far anyway, Mero would kill to get his hands on some new agent code which would mean you would not be leaving again." Grinned Gemini wryly.

"Mero's place is also cut off from the rest of the mainframe which means if you die there it would be very very permanent and none of your agent powers such as requiring or communicating would work."

The exile leaned against the wall "You can try if you want to but I'm sure you wouldn't live very long." she offered.

"Hmm. kill to get his hand on new agent code ehy?" Star smiled smoothly casting a glance at the other agents.

Angels eyes widened "No, nu-hu and don't you dare!"

Star sighed. "Fine, but lets at least do something interesting to exile Gem here then." She said nodding to Gemini/Jeff-dude

"Got your code knifes on you Angey?"

Alocin had discovered that Angel had Minesweeper on her computer, and was engrossed in a game. But at the mention of code knives she looked up.

"Code knives? Hey I didn't do anything! Ohh right, for J..Gem. Carry on then..." She returned to her game.

"Code knives..." Gemini frowns, "That's not very nice..."

Angel snatched her computer back off of Alocin and set it down away from her.

"Hey! I was winning!" Alocin complained.

"I don't mind if you guys play with your code knives. I personally would like to examine Gem's brain to see if there is some code in it that produces shape shifter powers."

"That sounds cool!" Star exclaimed.

"The process involves chopping the brain up into tiny pieces though, doesn't it?" T'L pointed out.

"Well yes that is a downside." Alocin agreed. "But I'm sure Gem won't mind making some sacrifices in aid of technological advancement." Angel got out her code knives.

"It sounds cool by me, well only if I can help, I've been watching those forensic shows and I know how to handle a scalpel." Alocin shouted jumping up and down an pulling an entire medical cutlery tray out of requirement.

"Okay lets get started," said Angel, sharpening her knives. Poof! The room suddenly resembled an operating theatre.

"Wait there is another way we can do it you know." interrupted T'Lorie with the voice of reason. "It's less revealing and there's a higher chance that Gem here will be alive when we are finished."

"But that will take the fun out of it." Alocin whined.

"How come everything you four do has a high fatality rate involved?" Gem questioned.

"Has something to do with our enthusiasm." said Star pointing to Angel and Alocin both wrapped in operating coats, holding big knifes.

"Right, well I'm happy with anything that leaves me alive in the end. What's your idea she-who-does-not-wish-to-cut-me-up?" Jeff responded.

"Well as the tech agent it is possible to look for techy sort of answers. If I can isolate the code signature within your code with the relevant properties I can analyse it and we can replicate its performance without having to deconstruct your code at all." T'Lorie explained efficiently.

"Wha?" said 4 equally confused programs.

"It means we can find the bit which lets her do those thing without cutting her open." T'Lorie explained again.

"Oh." Said Star and Gem

"But that's still no fun." Said Angel

"Its fun for me," T'Lorie said with an evil smile.

"T'Lorie, I never knew you had such a scary side, all that stalking Jones must have had a bad effect on you..."

"Now I don't get to play with big knives." Alocin complained.

"I see that as a _good_ thing." Gemini pointed out. Alocin stuck her tongue out at her.

"Well I need an interphasic code doohicky, a tachyon plasma thingamabob and some duct tape." T'L said, tapping away at her laptop. "Oh and a cheese sandwich."

"Why are you all so interested in my code anyway!" Gemini asked panicked "It's my code and it stays in me!"

Gemini was now thinking it would be a good time to make an exit from the agents; all she need was a distraction. It was at this precise moment that Morpheus who had been hunting the agents down, burst into the room looking demonic and actually pretty scary looking... Maybe he'd been at his pills again?

Morpheus swiped his long katana and disembowelled both agents Alocin and T'Lorie with startling efficiency before firing a volley of bullets from his gun at Angel and Gemini.

Gemini who being an exile had very quickly learned the concept of ducking, however agent Angel resembled a goldfish as she gaped at the rather demonic looking Morpheus who had just slaughtered her friends. She fell to the floor a few seconds later with half a dozen extra holes in her. Morpheus advanced on Star menacingly while she also stood in shock.

Gemini looked around at the dead bodies on the floor and then at the open door Morphy had just burst through… A chance to escape these blasted agents!

'Oh God Morpheus I love you!' Gem thought thankfully and then paused. "Ewww... I did not just think that."

She got up and ran out the door into the corridor and slammed her backdoor key into the first door she came across. 'Let the agents handle that rebel' she thought as she closed the door and was then gone


	4. He's not so cute as a puppy

Chapter 4- He's still cute as a puppy!

In a room further down the corridor, three rather shell shocked agents stood.

"We were just..." Alocin trailed off.

"I know." replied T'Lorie.

"... Oh we are _never_ going to live this down." groaned Angel.

"Well we better go see what's happening in Angels office." Alocin suggested "We never know what Gappy's done to Star."

"Why the hell would he come in OUR agency?" Angel asked. "I mean, the entire resistance knows to stay away from use, even more-so than the other Agents. And how the hell did he know where we were anyway?"

"Angel, if we want to stay hidden then I really think we need to take down that Big Neon sign out the front of the building. You know, the one that reads 'The Agency'" T'Lorie told her "And perhaps we should make it a normal building colour?"

"Yeah and who's fault is it that is pink?" Angel asked angrily, "Seriously T'Lorie, you need a new hobby."

"Come on guys, we need to go find Star." Alo interrupted.

"Yeah, and we better call for backup. I'll get Jasmine, you reckon you can get hold of Boris?"

"Um, do we have too, I mean Morpheus is big and has a really scary gap in his teeth." questioned a rather green T'Lorie.

"Yes, Star is in there and I won't let her suffer him alone." replied Alocin bravely.

"Um really?"

"Nah, I just though it sounded heroic." Alocin laughed. "Let her suffer, I can destroy all her pictures of Neo without being disturbed."

"Shut up." Angel interrupted. "We need a plan."

"How about, she shifts out?" T'Lorie put forward.

"Nah, she wouldn't think of that."

"How about we burst in there with guns ablaze?" Alocin said half mockingly.

"Excellent idea.' Angel jumped for it.

"But it was only a joke." Alo whimpered,

"Stop thinking of the small things. T'Lorie, think of your laptop stuck in there, Alocin think of your..." Angel came to a stop.

"My what?" said Alocin skeptically

"...Your future without Star to bother." Angel said, finishing her sentence.

"That's almost a fate worth than death, okay I'll do it." Alocin said bravely.

"T'Lorie?" Angel questioned.

"Yeah, anything for a laptop."

"Okay, on the count of three." Angel said bravely.

"We're all going to die!" stammered T'Lorie.

"Shut up." the other two said.

**  
MEANWHILE**

Agent Star gave a week smile and backed up towards the wall, as Morph advanced on her.

"Uhh...hello, can I help you?" She asked, nervously. The Guy had just tatly taken out all of her friends, and now she was stuck in a room with the creepy rebel. Yuck.

Now she knew why Alo got so pissed that time she locked her up with him in just a bathrobe. Star chuckled, that was fun.

"Yes, as a matter of fact you can...Agent Star..." Morphy grinned gappily.

Star cringed remembering the situation she was in.

"What do you want you freak!"

"Charge!"

Three agents came barreling into the room at high speed; the door crashed open silhouetting their forms in the light. The shock drove Gappy into Star arms and as the three stepped out of the light it showed Star, holding Morphy above the ground both with looks of fear of their faces.

"STAR! What the hell is going on?" Angel yelled.

Star immediately dropped Gappy and began frantically wiping her hand off on the jacket as T'Lorie raced across the room, grabbed her laptop of Angels desk and went back to hide behind Angel and Alocin.

"Thank goodness you're here!" Star sighed, kicking Gappy, who was still lying at her feet. "He is WAY too freaky to be left alone with." She shuddered.

Alocin glared at her. "Now you know how I felt! A honeymoon suite, what _were_ you thinking?" Remembering the unrivalled horrors of the semi-naked gappy lockdown

"Well you started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

"Did no..."

"OH SHUT UP!" Angel yelled, "This is NOT the time."

T'Lorie let out a small 'meep' and started backing towards the door.

"Right, how about we see what the hell Morpheus is doing here?" Angel continued, pulling T'Lorie back into the room.

"What about Jeff?" Alocin asked.

"We'll worry about her later, I want to hurt Gappy, and bad!" Star gave an evil grin.

After getting over the whole separated from laptop thing T'Lorie began to recalibrate her senses and take control of the situation. Shifting them all to the interrogation room, they all began to set it up.

T'Lorie set up her laptop and attached the wires to Gappy.

Angel pulled out her lie detector.

Alocin started feeding Gappy digestives.

And Star had come to the conclusion Neo was going to come rescue Morphy again so she was setting up a big trap.

It took a while but finally they were all set up and took their positions as their tied-up-like-a-shishcobabe prisoner began to come round. And the first thing he saw...

…Was four curious faces peering at him from a distance of 5 cm.

"BOO!" they shouted.

"Aaaaaaaaaaghhhhhhhhhhh!" he yelled.

"That worked." Said Angel with an evil grin on her face, "Now for the real fun!"

"Mummy..." whimpered Gappy.

Stepping away from the other agents Star was a little worried.

Why, of all the random agents had Morpheus come after her? If anything Star felt she was probably the least threatening to the rebels, and was particularly soft on the Neb crew due to Neo. So what was it that Morphy wanted with her, and her alone? Something worth breaking into an Agency and facing a whole group of Random Agents for?

"So Gappy. What did you come here for?" Star demanded to the tied up rebel.

"Gappy?" he said confused.

"Urmm... Morpheus then... Neo warned me you were coming for me but he didn't say why, and why did _Neo_ warn me anyway?"

Gappy frowned slightly. "I'm not giving away any rebel plans to a bunch of Agents!"

"Ahh.. so it was a rebel plan then?" T'L stated.

"Umm..yes..no..maybe.."

"Wow that was useful..." Alocin sighed. "Wait a second, Neo warned you? How come you never mentioned that Star?"

Star blushed slightly. "Oh I don't know, he wasn't exactly clear with the details, I guess I forgot..."

The group turned back to Gappy menacingly.

"So out with it, why did you really want Agent Star? And how did you know where to find her?"

Just then Angel's lie detector popped into the room.

"Well it took you long enough!" Angel sighed, and began attaching all the wires to Morpheus.

"I had to get more tea." it replied, in its English accent.

"Your lie detector scares me..." Star said worriedly. "Milk no sugar please!"

"Don't bother" Angel said. "The tea is for Sheerluck, not you. He is less likely to give it up than Alocin"

"Sheerluck?" Alocin queried.

"Don't ask."

Gappy looked at each of the agents. "Is one of you going to interrogate me? Or are you going to stand their bickering?"

"I WILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!" Roared Angel before circling around the trapped Gappy like a shark.

"So how did you find Star and why do you want her?" Angel demanded.

"Well you're not hard to find, just follow the screams, bangs and explosions." Gappy explained rather proudly. "And as for her well..." Gappy sniffed. "She's standing between me and my one true love Neo!"

All four agents looked vaguely traumatized, Angel looked at the lie detector.

"He's telling the truth." It said in its British accent, and then sipped a cup of tea, leaving Angel looking more traumatized.

Star looked rather shocked, not at all by the fact Gappy had a thing for Neo, I mean who could blame him! Hello! Sex-god? Yeah, but anyway, the thing that confused Star was the fact that Gappy had though _she_ was stopping his chance with Neo...

"Surely you meant to go after Trinity..." Star asked.

"No, I can't exactly kill her, she's my co-pilot!" He protested.

"You can't be right Morph, how would I stop Neo liking you, he doesn't even like me?"

"He's a rebel leader with a gap in his teeth that small container ships could sail through," Alocin interjected, "of course nothing he says is going to make sense!" She poked at him with a handy pencil. "I say we just take him back to the main Agency. We will get uber-brownie points for capturing Gappy!"

"But what about Jeff...Gemini...whichever?" T'L asked. "We kind of lost her...him...whichever. How are we going to explain that?"

"We don't have to explain it if they don't know" Angel said smugly

Just then "Angels brought me here" by Guy Sabastian of World Idol filled the room

"What is that?" Alocin asked, looking rather scared

Star sighed, "That would be our new doorbell, guess who chose it?" She looked pointedly at Angel

"Hey, I was on a sugar high"

"Well, who is going to answer the door?" T'Lorie asked

"I guess I will" Angel said "Anyone got a sledge hammer so a can smash that doorbell to pieces on the way through?"

T'Lorie handed her one and she left the room, heading in the direction of the door. There was a couple of crashes, the song began to slow and warp, making it sound even more strange, then one last BANG and it stopped all together. They heard a muttered "I don't know _what_ I was thinking" and then a pause as she opened the door.

"Who do you think it could be?" Star asked

Alocin was poking Morpheus with a pencil again "Probably girl guides or something. I wonder if they have cookies!"

T'Lorie raised an eyebrow "At this time of night?"

Alocin's face fell "I guess not. Damn, I wanted some cookies too..."

All of a sudden there was a yell from the entrance "What the bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Its NEO!"

The three agents in the room stared at each other in shock

"I don't believe it! I was right! He is here at our very own agency!"

Star was jumping up and down and barely suppressing a yell of joy. The other two girls put their hands over their ears in case she decided to 'Squee" again. Fortunately she got herself under control and managed to call out to angel "Well invite him in then" before rushing around to set her trap.

A few seconds later Neo walked into the room, followed by a very confused Angel. they all just stood and stared at each other for some time until T'Lorie gave an exasperated sigh

"Oh to hell with it Neo"

Neo gave her an odd look "Mr Anderson, would you like some tea?" she said, offering Alocins teapot and a mug.

Neo looked even more confused (so what else is new?) "Um, yeah... ok..."

Angel slid over to where Alocin was standing, looking quite shocked and horrified that Neo was drinking _her_ tea. "Hey Alo. You got any drugged sugar on you?"

Alocins eyes lit up and she started searching through her jacket "Well I have some drugged teabags, sugar, a lollipop, and coffee" She shuddered at the last one.

"Great" Angel took a couple of packets of sugar off her and went over to Star, who looked like she was about to faint. "Hey Star, why don't you ask him if he would like some sugar with his tea?"

Star looked at her suspiciously, but seeing as it didn't come from Alocin it was highly unlikely that it was drugged. She offered it to Neo who took it gladly.

Morpheus was sitting in his corner, still tied to his chair and being ignored by everyone. He was sulking, he wanted some tea too! But then again... Neo was starting to think that he was a dog, a puppy by the looks of it.. No, maybe it was best if he didn't have any tea after all…

Star smiled dreamily. Neo was here! In _her_ Agency! And even more surprisingly, her friends were actually being _nice_ to him! No shooting or insults, they had even made him tea. Now this was just perfect!

Star was about to go back to gazing adoringly at Neo when she realised she couldn't find him, Suddenly she felt something by her leg, Looking down she found it to be.. Neo! Who appeared to be ...Pulling at her trouser-leg...and..._Growling_...

"Neo! What for the love of the mainframe are you doing!" Star yelled, jumping up.

"Bark! Barkbarkbark!" Neo...barked.

"What did you lot do to him!" Star moaned, glaring at the giggling agents.

"Whatever it was, it had nothing to do with drugging Neo and making him think he's a dog..." Angel laughed

Neo started to gnaw at Stars leg again.

"Arrgg! Get away you Freak! I HATE dogs!" Star squealed, running back from the growling rebel.

Neo whimpered and started to howl.

Star scowled. "I hate you programs so very much."

Alocin took out another one of her drugged sugar sachets and read the instructions. "Oh don't worry Star it says that it wears off after 6-8 hours..."

"How long?" Star didn't seem best pleased.

"...but that is if he only took one sachet." continued Alocin.

T'L went over to the table and picked up three empty packets. "So what happens with an overdose of drugged sugar?"

"You know that's never come up." Alocin decided waste not, want not and finished off the tea in the pot, avoiding the sugar-contaminated cup.

"I guess we will find out!" Angel said, snickering.

Star sighed and sat on the table.

"You guys suck, couldn't you have just drugged morphy instead...not that he needs it... the baldie freak..." Star muttered.

Now she was annoyed, Neo was right here, no-one was being ultra-violent, and yet she couldn't exactly glomp puppie-neo it would just be too weird. She would have to settle for glaring at the rest of the rooms occupants...

"Oh cheer up, Star" Angel said, moving over to sit with her. "We've captured Neo now, which means uber-uber-brownie points for us and the drugs won't last forever. Then we will have Neo locked up back at the Agency and you can spend all the time you want gazing adoringly at him."

Star brightened at this, but was still annoyed at the whole obsession the others seemed to have with drugging people.

As if to prove this point T'L had required some of Agent Jones' interrogation drugs and was busy experimenting on Gappy, who did not seem to be having a good day. Alocin had got some more digestives and was attempting to train puppy-Neo to do tricks.

"Sit! Sit! Siiiiit! Sit! Sit damn you! Okay then lie down. Good Neo! Have a biscuit. You know Star I think this is a vast improvement on the old Anderson, can't we keep him like this?" Her glare suggested not, but she patted Neo on the head anyway.

"This is just SO wrong..."

Agent Angel... what is your status?

Angel jumped at the sound of Smiths voice, and span around looking in the room before realizing it was her earpiece. She quickly put it back in.

Umm...my status? Well..its...um…good

What _are_ you doing exactly Agent Angel?

Angel looked towards the others for help, mouthing 'smithy wants to know what we're up to!'

Alocin required a pen and a pad of paper and started writing. Angel was making increasingly frantic "hurry up!" motions. After a few seconds Alocin held up the sheet of paper:

WE ARE DOING AGENT TEAM BUILDING EXERCISES...

And then swapped it for the next sheet:

OFF THE COAST OF SWITZERLAND. BACK IN 30MINS

T'L quickly pointed out that Switzerland was land-locked, so Alocin crossed out Switzerland and replaced it with Sweden.

Yes Smith...that's what I said...

but why are you in Sweden? They have their own agency..

Angel paused, why didn't she have an excuse sub-routine?

Umm..all the Swedish agents... are on holiday... in Belgium you see. Now um… I have to leave now... for.. A reason... Angel promptly removed her ear-piece before Smith got a chance to reply.

"We need to decide what we are doing, I don't' think smithy is quite believing the Sweden thing..."

All the other Agents removed their earpieces too. "I think it was a cunning excuse - I would believe it." Alocin said proudly.

"Yes but that doesn't mean much. You are slower than that new snail mascot we acquired from somewhere." Angel pointed out. Alocin took several minutes to ponder this.

"Hey that was an insult!"

"My point is proven."

Neo had meanwhile got bored and curled up asleep on the floor next to Morpheus' chair. Morpheus seemed quite happy with this. Star was not.

"Look! You've got him sleeping on the floor! And I do not like Gappy-freak here being next to him with all his creepy delusions."

"Look on the bright side Star, think of the recruits for the resistance are going to go down when I post these..." T'Lorie pulled a camera out of requirement and took a couple of pictures of Neo, "...photos on the Internet. The resistance will have will have to change their ideals to: 'the right not to act sane in public'."

"Give me those." Star yelled diving for the incriminating photos.

"I don't think so." T'Lorie chucked them to Angel who chucked them Alocin who chucked them back to T'Lorie. In the background Neo started snuffling and chewing on gappy's trousers. The piggy in the middle game was rather fun until Star required a butterfly net and used it to catch the camera in full flight.

"No fair." Angel protested,

"Yeah, that's against the rules!" Alocin joined in.

"Yeah, prove it then.," said a smug Star holding the camera like a trophy.

"It says right here." Alocin began to reply holding a massive volume entitled: the correct rules for every game in the matrix."

"Ahem!"

Alocin stopped and stared, so did Angel and T'Lorie, Star spun around. Three of the weirdest figures had just come in through the door. It was Agent Smith, Brown and Jones... all wearing radiation protective suits.

"Oh I say." said Angels lie detector

Brown looked ill, Jones no better but Smith was acutely furious. All three stopped dead when they saw Neo and Morpheus. Smith started to tap his foot...an explanation was needed and fast!

Agent Brown glared through the visor of his helmet. "You do not seem to be in Sweden."

"You in fact appear to be in the Agency we banned you from using." Smith pointed out. "Do you have an explanation for why this is?"

"Not one that isn't going to land us in even more trouble..." Alocin admitted, slowly attempting to move out of Agent Brown's line of sight.

"But on the plus side look what we caught!" said Angel, gesturing to Neo chewing on Morpheus' shoe.

Jones tilted his head to the side. "Is that..._Anderson_?"

"Yes, and the one giving him 'come to bed' looks is the legendary Morpheus, Those three..." Star said' pointing at Alocin, Angel and T'Lorie who were doing a poor job of trying to look innocent.

"...Thought if would be just hilarious to drug Neo, who now by the way thinks he's a puppy-dog, where as Morpheus I believe just has some outstanding psychological issues..."

Smith and Jones looked rightly disturbed, where as Brown was getting quite scared of the fact the 'the one' was pawing at his leg with a squeaky toy ball in his mouth, that T'L had required.

"How on earth did you manage to get them here?" Said Smith mildly impressed.

"Well you see one of these deep-seated psychological issues that Gappy here has," Alocin said gesturing to the half-drugged Morpheus, "is that he seems to think Star stands between him and his true love, Mr Anderson. Nutty as a bag of extra-nutty peanuts he is."

Angel took up the explanation. "So Morpheus came here, following Star. After this little, erm, 'incident', we captured him and started the interrogation. After a while Mr Anderson showed up, ready to be all-heroic and save Morpheus. Star was going to trap him but was too busy gazing adoringly in his direction, so we took matters into our own hands and drugged him."

The other Agents just stared at Neo, now chewing at the rubber ball and looking up at them in the hope they would play fetch with him.

"The poor thing" Star sighed.

"Can't we just let him out into the wild? I doubt he'll be much of a threat to us as a puppy...

"But Star, I told you, the drugs will wear off eventually and he will be back to his regular One-ish state then..." Alocin stopped as soon as she noticed Star's death glare but it was too late. She tried to get further away from Star but was trapped between her and Agent Brown's eerily similar glares

"Then we are certainly not 'releasing' him anywhere. Both of them will be returned to the main Agency where they can be properly interrogated in more appropriate surroundings." Smith said.

"That's just...Great" Star said with a very forced smile.

"Well I am delighted that we have your approval in the matter." Smith said in a tone of similar sincerity.

"But I believe it would be best if Agents Brown and Jones transfer Mr Anderson and Morpheus back to the Agency. Just in case anything... untoward... occurs during the journey, as it so often does when it involves you and your cohorts."

Star tried not to look frustrated as her plan of "accidentally" crashing the car into a lamppost on the way back to the Agency and freeing Neo was foiled.

Damn, she thought, and he would have had to be eternally grateful to me after that as well...

T'Lorie jumped for the chance. "I'll be happy to accompany the prisoners if Agent Jones is going." Jones blanched.

"Negative, you will remain." Smith intercepted. "You will all remain and fill out complete reports, in triplicate about what has happened here. I want them on my desk by 1800 hours."

"But sir, its 1600 hours already. "Star informed him

"I know that, after you have finished you will be given surveillance and report duty for a month." Smith continued their penalty.

"But Smith..." Angel protested

"No complaints, Dismissed"

The four agents dragged themselves out into the corridor.

"We've really got our selves in it this time. "Alocin complained,

"We better get started on those reports." T'Lorie said half-heartedly.

So the four agents dragged themselves off to their offices to attempt to do their paper work. There wouldn't be time for much fun in the days ahead, or so it seemed...


End file.
